So.
Day 1 worked a treat!
I'm really focused on the not complaining for a start and I have fullfilled my day one obligation. Funny thing is I don't actually feel like complaining now that I'm not complaining. Wierd.
I woke this morning and B (5) and C (3) had been fed and daddio had even ironed B's school uniform. I managed to slink out of bed just as he was leaving for work and gave him a a quick kiss and "have a gorgeous" day before he left. And it felt really nice to be nice. Normally I may think things like 'you coulda ironed tomorrows uniform whilst you were at it'...you know, that sort of crap. And maybe he could have, but who gives a hoot. A chunk of the morning routine was done and I was appreciating it. I have to say he has really come in to his own in being helpful in the mornings in the last 6 months or so. See, I'm really liking him already :)
In the car for all the drop offs and I shot him a note to say thanks for all the above.
My happy happy joy joy mood was NO DOUBT helped along by the fact that I spent my day indoors with the Bizness Babes, and truth is any of those bizness babe days are some of my fave days. Often I'll slip in a whine or two about the home dynamics, but not today. Nup, today my lips were sealed in a cheesy grin and I might have even mentioned a few choice nice things about him. I think he gets scared whenever I'm about to be surrounded by a group of women (since he knows it's prob my time of letting loose on all his past sins) so I think he would be chuffed to the core to know that no such thing happened today.
I'll fast forward to late this afternoon. He was planning to go to Yoga in the afternoon (generally I would smirk here, but again, not today :)) and I called to check if that was still on the agenda. "I'd rather come home and see the kids to be honest". Aww sweet. Often I kinda resent the whole evening routine thing coz it's my least favourite time in the history of all my days (herding cats) but tonight I was on a mission. If he was going to choose to come home especially to see the kids then I would make sure they were bathed and ready for him. In 90% humidy (which nearly killed me) I raced around and did all I could to make sure there was all peace and no war between him and the kiddies when he walked in (actually I was thinking about me but you get the picture). In any case, he could just scoop em up and enjoy them.
The really really wierd thing? I really really liked doing that for 'him'. Lets get one thing straight, the whole surrendered wife thing is not my thing. I may be a martyr but I'm not going to do it without a few complaints. That's more my thing. But not tonight. Tonight I really enjoyed being focused on what he would enjoy when he walked in. And it was lovely to greet him. And it was lovely for him to give me a big squish and tell me to leave everything just as it was (I had failed in getting the kitchen sorted, including removing the pasta pieces from the walls and the milk splattered across the floor) and instead - I had a preorganised girls dinner - to 'go straight out and enjoy yourself, I'll take care of the rest".
Once again, aww nice.
And not one single whine from me today. Tomorrow I'm taking Allies advice and doing the whole visualise the positive relationship thing. Keep throwing those suggestions at me.
Day one now ticked off as a hot and happy success that was way easier than I expected. I feel like I'm cheating since I have bizness babes on tomorrow too but the feelings are real. I don't want to get all mush mush on you but, seriously, so far so good. Won't count any chickens yet (we're a moody lot us humans) but definately a top notch day 1.
How are you going with it???
Til tomorrow,
Dovic xx
PS If I have fella subscribers/followers that check in to this post, can you tell me, is he gonna be really really mad that all this sneaky stuff is going on??
wow, arn't "woman" just so in control!
ReplyDeletei found this rather interesting especially the new found contentment :) and yes the small things do count even thou he/she may never know your intent! relationships especially with children involved are hard, but! we do what we do with all our heart and try to do it as best as we can without the annoying negative's that pry into our mind's without warning!that can some what destroy the whole meaning of why we do it in the 1st place, now back to the partner issue :) the sneakyness that evolve's is always a sign that your willing to do something other than the usual for him/her and this is what makes the relationship "enjoyable" i love this stuff, it say's to me my partner is thinking of me and has the courtesy to go to arms lenghts to make me happy, and for sure her aswel, but if that's what it takes then i'm all for it...:)
i hear a song on the radio at work and i get this overwhelming felling to cry but not because i'm sad but because it reminds me of my wife and how much i adore her and her strength's her compasioon her loyalty and her commitment to make me the man i'am today!
this has made me open my world to you all and i thank you dovic... for the read and how it shows that the little things are really huge to who it concerns and i dearly believe this to be 100% true, live it love it be it....it's a moto, and i stand by it side by side for it's my wife :)
Ive (after many months...years..of angst and feeling miserable being miserable) sort of made the same quantum shift in my own world...as the saying goes "whats the definition of madness?"....doing the same thing over and over again yet expecting different results!! Well that was what i was doing....my internal dialogue was daily...why do i have to do EVERYTHING..can't he SEE my struggle...it was all me me me and i would loose it and threaten seperation (again), say...I can't spend the rest of my life feeling like this........and then it dawned on me that if i want a different result....ive got to change how I behave in the relationship...and although i occassionally slip....most of the time i see through his eyes, what ive been like as a wife....am i fun to live with when im spitting venom and yelling my head off, am i that soft, feminine, safe place to fall when hes feeling overwhelmed?? NO....so, as the song goes "try a little tenderness"....and slowly, we are more in a partnership again instead of a power struggle :). So i follow you blog with a smile and a nod as i think it is so wonderful (and i loved that he kept the pizza box)..
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