(Once again, if you need a heads up on the challenge you'll find it here)
I forgot to go to bed last night. Not til late - so late that I'm not even going to offer up what time it was. I am a nightowl. This works fine when you are young, hip and happening, but not when you have a household that echoes and roars like a Tsunami from the moment the first person in the house wakes up. It's LOUD.
I am going to put that down as lesson one.
Sleep needs to be my new best friend.
I was sleep deprived. R had already been up for an hour or so, and like yesterday, had ironed another school uniform and got the first two fed before having to leave for work himself. I feel bad for the second day in a row saying that - it's sweet and up until 2 days ago I never would have even thought much of it. It works for him I know. He does mornings like I do nights. Whilst I'm cooking at 11pm he's snoozing away. When he's up in the morn I have the pillow(s) over my head whilst I try and drown out all the sounds and get another hours sleep in. But he does other sweet things like close all the doors and shove the kids up the other end of the house, so far up the other end they almost have to sit on the neighbours back porch. To be honest, it's the ironing of the school uniform that's doing it for me at the mo especially. I think because I know he's doing it as a 'dad' as much as as a hubby and that is a blow your heart up with love and stuff kind of thing to do/acknowledge.
Anyways. All was going well while the pillows were planted on my head but as he was leaving for work and popping his head in the room to say bye, I could feel that old crankiness start to rise. So what did I do? I composed my insides, smiled at him and said thanks. Then I smiled a happy smile to myself and curled up in a ball to enjoy about another 2 min peace before the rest of the household realised my body was awake and ready for jumping on. And when, precisely 2 min later, all 3 of my little people came screaming in with 'mummy! mummy!' and summersaulting on my head, I didn't mind.
Being nice to R is extending BEYOND being nice to him. I have not had one negative thought in 48 hrs. I do need to get more sleep because a lack of it may be a stronger beast than all the positivity I can muster and it may be the time in my life to stop fighting it. But it's nice that I am being cranky at absolutely no-one at the moment. You want to somersault on my head? Knock yourself out. You want me to come and play ANOTHER game with you for about the 50th time today? Ofcourse. I'd actually really love to.
R would LOVE if I shifted my sleeping pattern. My head I think would love it too. So I'm gonna give it a go.
Finally, apart from all the love love joy joy happening around here at the moment, I've noticed another significant change. We are talking sooooo much. Not just chit chat but nice talking, you know the sort you normally reserve for friends and not for partners? I was on my way home last night from a dinner and he called me on the way to ask to get milk. I was precisely 7 min from home. Normally the conversation consists of
"can you get milk"
Last night is went like this
"can you get milk"
"yeah sure, how were the kids tonight, did you enjoy yourself"
"yeah it was nice being home. How was dinner"
"yeah cool. The food was yuuuummmy"....and on and on for another 7 min exactly. I forgot to get the milk coz I was at the front door before I knew it.
My being nice resulted in us TALKING. Like banter talk. You know, I like you and you like me talk. This experiment has been worth it so far just to remind me I don't need to wait til I'm hanging out with friends to have a conversation. I can do it right at home.
I have had so many awesome comments, some on this blog, others elsewhere, cheering me on from the sidelines or saying 'yay, I did it too and it rocks' or 'I should really give this a go myself before I slit my/his/her wrists. If you see them on any of these posts, have a read. They are so heartwarming.
I'm going soft. And I like it :)
PSS Have to skip tomorrows post which I'll explain later. So see you all Thursday night!
PSSS Will be in better writing form with a bit more sleep - apologies to any protectors of grammar and spelling and sentence structure out there!
PSSSS Will try the visualisation thing I was planning for today, tomorrow -with a bit more sleep too :)